I Swear, You Swear, Crap We Need a Swear Jar

1 Feb

Before kids I swore, swore like a sailor. I still swear but not like I used to. Sometimes it’s needed. For example:  When you hit your head really, really hard at the library. Sometimes certain words cannot be withheld. Like the “F” word. I’m just saying.

So having a baby didn’t help my “potty mouth”. I figured I had time before he was old enough to understand to kick my dirty verbal habit. With certain things I’m not very disciplined so trying to stop swearing wasn’t easy. This proved so one morning when my oldest was about 2 years old. I remember that morning like it was just this morning.

Chris and I were getting ready for the day. I was sending our son off to daycare and myself to work.  I had given him some Cheerios with strawberries for breakfast. As I was getting his lunch ready I heard his little voice from the table say, “Too many fucking Cheerios.” Chris and I stopped what we were doing and looked at one another. Did we hear right? Did he just say what we thought he did?

I went over to the table to see what was up with his Cheerios. I sat down beside him and peered into his bowl as he was eating.  Apparently all those fucking Cheerios were getting in the way of his strawberries. At that point I probably thought I should be a little more careful with the words I use.

As I was trying to not swear as much around our son we had another incident. Chris had said something one day as we were heading out and because he had I made a point to tell our son to tell Chris not to say that. Well of course he says, “Don’t say shit-focks Daddy.” After that we were told by him that shit-focks was a bad word.

As I had mentioned before I still swear. Or should I say we, Chris and I. You’d think we would have improved with this not swearing thing by the time the second one came along. Well maybe just a little bit. Only because our son at this point was starting preschool and I didn’t want to have his teacher calling me due to my 3 year olds choice of language.

Our oldest son, thankfully, has learned not to copy us. But our youngest well that is another story. He decided that shitballs was a normal phrase especially when you put it together with Madagascar. Don’t ask me why, he just says it that way. In my defence he learned it from his father. Not the Madagascar part the shitballs part. Chris says it a lot when he plays video games.

It was recently that he picked up this phrase. We first heard it while he was jumping around, as usual, shouting: “Shitballs Madagascar! Shitballs! Madagascar!” While we try not to laugh, we try to deter him from saying it. Yet when we swear he comments that we are saying a bad word. But somehow, “Shitballs Madagascar” isn’t? This was especially true when he opened up his birthday card from his Aunt. He said, “Hey it’s Shitballs Madagascar!”

Maybe we need a swear jar.


9 Responses to “I Swear, You Swear, Crap We Need a Swear Jar”

  1. Marla February 1, 2011 at 8:46 pm #

    Holy Crap that’s funny!

  2. Heather February 1, 2011 at 11:00 pm #

    Oh my gracious. That is too funny. I too need a swear jar. My kids are older and oh to familiar to my potty mouth. Lol. They just threaten to ground me if I swear!!

  3. Heather February 2, 2011 at 10:09 am #

    Lol. Yes indeed!! Thanks for your funny stories!!!

    Have a good day!!!

    Keep the” potty mouth” alive. Lol

  4. Brenda February 2, 2011 at 1:20 pm #

    Funny thing about swearing…we’ve found that even if you aren’t actually saying a “swear word”, but use another word in place of a curse, the little ones in our world think it’s still swearing. Example, my sister-in-law says “pickles” when wanting to curse…and she uses it a lot…so when my 2.5 year old nephew heard us talking about “pickles” he was most offended by our potty mouths…

  5. April February 8, 2011 at 9:53 am #

    I have to agree with your little one. “Shitballs Madagascar” is totally catchy and I find myself using it as my expletive of choice when things go wrong.

  6. Debbie March 3, 2011 at 12:34 pm #

    too funny, thats my boy, lol

  7. Jenn November 21, 2011 at 10:24 pm #

    Oh my goodness. You had me laughing out loud. We just had our first child, and 11 months in we still are having a hard time curbing our bad language. We’ve been trying to find replacement words, but time is short – as the boy now understands things and has started saying his first word. Good luck to all of us – hard to break this habit.

    • Your Charming Canadian Housewife November 22, 2011 at 9:51 am #

      It’s hard to quit. Espcially when one is not used to little ones around. Hopefully you’ll be better than Chris and I were. (Still working on it) 😉

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